Good Listeners

So, what can we do to become better listeners? At its core, listening in a one-on-one conversation is about taking an interest in another person and making them feel understood. There's no universally agreed upon definition of high-quality listening, but some recurring features include attentiveness, conveying understanding, and showing a positive intention towards the speaker. This doesn't mean you can simply go through the motions. Researchers have found that merely smiling and nodding at set intervals doesn't quite work. However, there is something slightly performative about listening in that it's important to show you're doing it. So, in addition to actively attending to a speaker's words, good listeners also use questions and body language that indicate their understanding and their desire to understand. This might feel awkward at first, and what's most effective might depend on your relationship with the speaker. But with time and practice, you can internalize these basic behaviors.