New Jay

Let's imagine a college student being late for class. New Jay, who's her current teacher, learned about non violent communication and knows that it begins with a clear observation. During observation, he tries noticing concrete facts things that happen at that very moment New Jay jots down that Anne arrives minutes late and that his pulse is up possibly a sign of stress When focusing on his feelings, New Jay connects with his heart and can learn to understand various underlying emotions. This is important because what seems to be anger might in fact be sadness. During this step, it is essential to distinguish feelings from thoughts After class, New Jay shares his observation and explains to Ann that he feels disrespected when someone is late for his class Knowing his needs isn't because it allows him to enrich his life and feel at peace. If we disregard our needs or don't live up to our values, we experience stress and frustration. New Jay tells Ann that they should find a way to respect each other's values and desires. Lastly, there is the request, which clarifies what future New Jay wants for himself and this relationship. Clear requests are hence crucial to a transformative communication. When we ask for concrete actions, we often find creative ways to ensure that everyone's needs are met. New Jay asks Ann not to come to class at all if she happens to run later than one minute.